Destiny Spirit Bound
by mrs-dimitri-belikov1
Summary: Rose and Lissa go to save Dimitri's soul but a lot of twist and turns stand in their way. My verison of spirit bound, hope you like.
1. chapter 1 The escape

My first fan fic so please be nice =) the story is much better that the summary. still a lot more too come.

Love

Em

Disclaimer- I do not own any of these charectors, they belong too Richelle mead

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"_Did you mean it before? You want to go with me on my next crazy quest? No matter what?"_

"_Yes." There was no hesitation in the word, no wavering in her steady green eyes_.

My mind started working a hundred beats a second- He was coming, Dmitri the man I had loved – well still loved- was still walking this earth, the act that I cried myself to sleep over was a failure… for one split second my heart lept with joy- he wasn't dead, he could hold me in his arms, I could kiss his lips, I could feel his body again-- as the night in the cabin blew painfully back into my mind. NO. He was no longer Dimitri; he was a Strigori, a soulless machine hungry for death…. Hungry for me. He no longer wanted to turn me, id lost that chance, no, Dimitri wanted me dead, and it would be soon.

"Rose, Rose, ROSE?" I looked up Lissa was staring at me, my face mustn't have been reflecting the expression of that a normal person, in fact I'm pretty sure this was one of those 'rose is crazy' moments. I just stared right back my mouth moving but no words coming out.

And could I risk Lissa's life like this? My whole past, my whole future was to protect Lissa, she was pretty much my purpose in life. But not anymore, as selfish as the words seem she is not the only thing that matters anymore, I made a promise to Dimitri, I made a promise to a man that would always hold my heart, and I was determined to fulfill that promise.

"Lissa… Lissa we need to go we need to leave" the weird sense of déjàvu leaking into the pit of my stomach. She just looked at me, staring straight into my eyes before I saw a decision flash across her face. She was coming.

She ran to her wardrobe and pulled out 2 backpacks, stripping out of her silk summer dress she rummaged in the back of her wardrobe until she found some dark denim shorts and threw on a Ben Sherman singlet, practical and easy to move in but she managed to still keep herself looking classy, lucky for me I didn't bother to put much effort into looking nice anymore, still wearing a black pair of trackies and a singlet she threw me a white ¾ shirt before running to the bathroom. We didn't need any clothes we would juts buy some over there it was easier than having to go too the baggage collection at the air port, and what Lissa came back into the room with would certainly help us out with that. Running back in she didn't even glance up before she threw in rolls of hundred dollar bills at the bottom of the backpack, she looked up to my face.

"Just in case I loose my credit cards" with a small smile before chucking a mobile phone on top. I jumped and ran for the phone I had dialed the number enough in Novosibirsk that I knew it off by heart.

On the second ring she picked up "Sydney, I need you!"

We didn't really have much of a plan, we just improvised. "Head mistress Kirova will see you now girls" the assistant looking down on us as we sat waiting motioned off to the left. Before stepping through the door Lissa said in barley a whisper, 'leave this to me".

Looking at the front of the room I was greeted with kirova's smug smile... _god I hated her_ "well girls it's lovely to see you and of course you rose, I was beginning to miss you I haven't seen you in what? 4 days, a new record" _she was such a bitch_ "Yes, principle Kirova, its nice to see you too" in order to get out of this place I had to try and contain my temper, I saw approval flash in Lissa's eyes before she launched into our lie. I zoned in and out of the discussion, my mind mostly on the task ahead, but from what I gained we were taking the jet to the Royal court to visit Mia, for two days. Believable? Not really but Kirova seemed to think it was legit, even if I did expect a little bit of compulsion to have a part in there.. Even if it was illegal it won't compare to what we had lying ahead of us.

The walk to the gate was quite long and on the way i explained to Lissa what was happening, I was worried about her, going back to the days when Victor Tortured her and now we were planning on breaking him out of prison, taking away his punishment. But surprisingly she kept a steady face, I looked into her emotions and found only pure determination and courage, she needed to help me no matter what. The emotions were so strong they made me a bit teary, the only negative feeling was a tiny bit of regret- Christian.

We had made it too the gates and showed our leave passes to the guardians on duty, they were confused that Kirova let us go without a proper guardian but let us leave, before stepping out I quickly slipped on a silver bangle-Lissa had managed to figure out how to enrich objects with spirit- I really wasn't in the mood to be attacked by ghosts.

Walking down the path a couple hundred meters a sleek black car raced around the corner, swerving so facing the direction it just came from, the sun roof opened and a head shot through the top. "Well well well, if it isn't my most favorite creature of the night? Did you miss me?"


	2. Chapter 2 sydney

The Drive to the airport was long; Lissa and I sat in the back as I leant over the seat to talk to Sydney. I didn't really want to tell her everything. But in the end it pretty much all came out. She wasn't impressed, especially that I had brought Lissa along, Alchemists may not like Vampires but they still respect us and our royalty. Lissa didn't really take this well, she had a strong sense of jealousy that I was such good friends with Sydney, who had been there for me when she wasn't and Sydney saying that it was dangerous for a Moroi who couldn't defend herself really wasn't helping.

But she didn't say anything- _god I love Lissa_.

We had half an hour to the airport and I still didn't know exactly where we were going. Sydney knew where Victor was being held, how? I don't know. Nobody is given out that information but im not surprised, apparently Sydney knows everything. We were taking a flight to Zemlya the North of Russia. It was either Fate or just my really really bad luck that has been stalking me my whole life; if god does exist he really mustn't like me. You see Russia is where Dimitri was born and where he spent his childhood. Its where he held me captive, and where I became his blood whore, even though I knew he didn't love me and as he said he only _'wanted'_ me, I still loved him Strigori or not. Its where I supposedly 'killed him' with my stake, it was the moment that I played over in my head every night and day just before he plunged into the river below- _what would have happened if he said he loved me?_

"Were here rose" I look out of my daze, Lissa's face is looking at me with compassion. She must have been able to sense my pain.

I wanted to make a witty rose response but none came to mind "oh" was the best I could come up with.

In an act to stay sane I decided to make conversation as we boarded the aeroplane, "so Sydney where's the red hurricane? Or did you finally get sick of it and move on?"

"What get sick of the red hurricane? Never! no my leaders wouldn't let me bring it over, they said it was too conspicuous and I couldn't possibly run around cleaning up Strigori in one of those". She said instantly happy that I asked- her voice went all high pitched and girly. "There just jealous" she said with a pout before twirling in circles- Okay... this is definatley not Sydney.

"What happened to her" asked Lissa giving Sydney the strangest look that I burst into laughter.

Sydney just stared at us both with a goofy love sick smile on her face for about 5 seconds before Lissa also started laughing, she was laughing so hard that she chocked on the gum in her mouth and went into a full on coughing fit, which just made me laugh even harder.

"are you girls alright?" asked the stewardess as she walked down the isle, looking at our tear streaked faces and Lissa fitting to breath -something told me I had to help her but it was just too funny- Liss then proceeded to reach over the isle to a man's coke as he was looking away talking to his neighbor, she skulled it with tears in her eyes and put it back, looking down at his drink he went to take a sip but nothing was left. It led us to another round of hysteria as he shook it up side down in bewilderment and asked the stewardess for another.

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The plane landed in the morning for us and 8 o'clock at night for the human world, the plane trip had taken a long time and no doubt would the school be getting suspicious, very suspicious. It wasn't until we went too the baggage collection for Sydney that I suddenly though of Abe, _oh shit_ how could I forget about Abe? My dad half mafia boss half **Zmey.**The first time I met Abe it was in Russia, it was where he lives or where one of his houses were. It doesn't matter where he lives Abe can call in a lot of favors, because you see what Abe wants Abe gets, you don't mess with Abe Mazur. In fact he was probably waiting for us at the airport now.

My guard automatically went up. "Lissa, look around if you see anybody in black suits tell me". Trying to sound as calm as possible

"Umm Rose, its an airport have you ever heard of security?" sarcasm dripping off each word

"Liss! No time to act like me, okay? I need to know if any are coming our way!" which was said a bit harshly and a pang of guilt slid through me.

"Jeez Rose, PMS or something?? No, okay there are no scary men coming our way in black suits. What's this all about?"

"Lets go ill tell you in the car" grabbing both Sydney's and Lissa's hands. I did not want to hang around and they could tell that.

Walking out the front we jumped into a silver sports car before speeding off.


	3. Chapter 3 Breaking out Victor

I was shocked, like really shocked. I mean me Rose Hathaway has seen a lot in my life and done a few things- well a** LOT** of things I really shouldn't have. But WOW I was not expecting really how easy it was to break victor out of prison. Right now he was sitting in the backseat of the car much too pleased with himself.

It was simple really Lissa used some compulsion on the guards at the front of the prison and pretty much told them all to go too sleep, well after they opened the door for us. It was surprising how little security they had on Victor's cell; I mean he wasn't that dangerous. What's the worst an old moroi can do right? Option one. Annoy the guards enough to let him out or option 2. Get someone else too break him out, they mustn't have though over that one much.

We were now on our way too Novosibirsk. **What the hell is with my bad luck??**

Apparently Robert, Victor's brother is living in Novosibirsk... which is weird since nobody really knows anything about him. But I mean Novosibirsk!! The spot where I found Dimitri the first time as a Strigori, He lives in the Frikin countryside of Novosibirsk about 1 hour from the main city. I could be seeing my Dimitri very soon... the scary thing was I couldn't tell If it was a good or bad thing.

The car drive went fast, mostly because of the fact I was dreaming about Dimitri the whole time. Him in my arms, the night in the cabin- just me and him. Could it ever be like that again?

But as we were driving something came to my attention.

"Hey, Um Victor... Mr. Dashkov" even though I hated him I still had to be respectful to royalty, "If your brother Robert is a spirit user too, why didn't you ask him to heal you?"

Smiling a wicked glint in his eyes "ah Rosemarie, your questions are such a delight. You see dear child my brother is somewhat deranged and has little strength as he is growing old, Unlike you and Vassilla, Robert does not have a bond mate, and over time his continual want to help out others has clouded his vision with shadows, dark shadows. Just like Shadow kissed Anna you take away those shadows for Vassilla but my dear brother is left to cope on his own which only leaves him with a very dear grasp on sanity. That is why I am needed to communicate with Robert; I am the only one he trusts".

_I just sat there looking thoughtful; I could see the shock in Victor's eyes. The old Rose would make a sarcastic or insulting remark, but I didn't. God where had the old rose gone?_

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Ok so now I see why nobody knew about Robert. He lived underground, I mean literally speaking **underground**. Lots of stairs and hidden tunnels then led us to the front door. Even though we had Victor the place was still hard to find.

But All in all Robert was quite a decent guy, okay so he did say a few words out of order and he did have a fit when he saw that victor had company, but once introduced he really did warm up to us. He kept saying how extremely pleased and honored he was to have Princess Vassilla Dragimor in his very own house! But I could see what he meant about just barley holding on too sanity, he had some sudden outbursts, a lot like Adrian at the ski lodge, but they were longer and much more frightening. I found the most frightening thing was that I could turn out like that. That could be me, this is what the shadows had caused and I was the one receiving them. I felt Lissa's sympathy in the bond she knew what I was thinking about.

"_Don't worry you will never turn out like that, I will not let you. I will much rather give up my magic than you be anywhere near that stage. It Will Not happen". _

I gave her a small smile and then stared back into my tea.

It wasn't long before we got onto the topic of why we were actually here. Victor explained about Dimitri, because well now he knew the full extent of what was going on. At the end of the speech Robert looked at me he held out his hands and spoke "love?"

I just looked at him "umm, excuse me?"

Victor jumped in "he's asking if your in love with Dimitri"

"Oh, well I um" my cheeks began to go red "yes I'm very much in love with Dimitri"

He then looked at me sincerely and deep "love is all you need"

Well It turns out love is not all you need, it was also crucial that you are shadow kissed; he didn't seem to add in that part. You see im dead, well I should have been but Lissa brought me back to life with spirit. Being Shadow kissed leaves you with a very strong connection between the land of the dead and the land of the living. Seeing spirits/ghosts is just one way of showing that. My life is very fragile being on a tightrope between the two worlds, if I have too much too with the spirit world I could be swept up in it.

And Oh yeah in order to get Dimitri's soul I was going to have to do exactly that. Enter the land of the dead.

Okay so I was freaking out, so what that's understandable. I just have to venture on in too the spirit world find Dimitri's soul and just flounce back into my own body. Easy! Oh wait did I also mention there is like a 80% chance I probably wont be coming back? Piece of Cake! Also I will have to face the innermost feelings in my heart in order too resurface back into my body… whatever that means some more of Roberts mumbo jumbo. Dimitri will also have to be healed, like the day when he slid oksana's ring on his finger it retains some of his normal damphir mind, so Liss will be healing Dimitri while still Strigori! Oh and one more thing I wont be able to control my body when my soul leaves, it will just fall limp.


	4. Chapter 4 I want rose back

So we needed a plan and unfortunately that included Lissa and Sydney, we couldn't really bring victor so Sydney rang for some alcamists who tipped off the royal court, we told him to stay at Roberts, really like that was going to work but that's okay, Sydney hid a tracker device on him...

Don't ask me what she was doing with a tracker device- apparently it was just one of those handy things alchemists carry around, but hey, I never said alchemists are normal.

It was true I was becoming less and less rose and more no fun guardian, loosing Dimitri I guess I slowly lost the fun and loving side of my soul. I no longer answered things with witty responses but just pretended to hear, what if he kills me? What if he turns me Strigori? What if he hurts Lissa? That was my main question both of my first two worries couldn't come close to the 3rd. It was the nightmare that I had recurring every night… what if he kills Lissa. The night before we decide to find Dimitri I call Sydney and Lissa over too me.

I looked them in the eyes, one after the other.

"Tomorrow you have to listen to me and be ready, if anything doesn't go to plan ANYTHING at weather it be big, small, fixable or not I want you too listen to me. If I tell you too run, RUN! you have to promise me that if at any moment you are further putting yourself in danger than I already am, that you will run, promise"

I looked at Liss first, her lips quivering in anger, "that's not fair! You could be Killed, im not just going to run-"

My eyes silenced her, "please Liss, Please you have to promise me or nothing is going to happen please Liss, promise"

"I…" she sighed in defeat slumping down onto the floor "yes fine, I promise"

"Sydney, do you promise?"

"Yes Rose I promise, and I promise that I will keep Vassilla safe". There was so much sincerity in her eyes, I had never seen this kind of person- this trip was discovering more sides too Sydney then I thought possible, the way she looked at me I thought of Adrian. Adrian I missed him so much, he honestly cared for me, more than I like to think about but I could never return such devotion… right now he would be writing his dating proposal... **GOD I hated this new rose** all she did was hurt others I wanted my old self back, the flirty and fun me. I thought how he would have knocked on my door being the usual damn annoying self that I loved- in a friend sort of way.

_Walking into my room without knocking as per usual, "Adrian! Don't just come into my room without knocking I could be naked" again as soon as I said that I instantly regretted it._

_I was expecting a "oh wouldn't that be a shame" or an "I don't really think you would mind, would you" but instead he turned around with a smile and walked out the door. I jump up instantly calling his name and running after him, I then hear 2 quick knocks before he opened the door and stepped in front of my moving figure wrapping his arms around me he said "I know you don't really give a dam if I knock or not" before I move out of his embrace. _

As the walls around me materialized, I realize all the harm I have caused him, he knew it I could see he knew it- it would always be Dimitri. I realized that this attempt to once again free Dimitri's soul would hurt Adrian once again, but I couldn't bring myself to regret it. Tomorrow I could be heading home with Dimitri, my Dimitri.


	5. Chapter 5 The Unexpected

That night I dreamt of Dimitri, he was a damphir, and we were in the cabin I was wrapped in his arms and we were just talking. We were talking about the future, about our hopes and dreams. I told him I only had one dream and that was to stay with him forever. The dream then changed I was still in his arms but our surroundings had changed I instantly recognized the room and looked up as a sick nauseous filling seeped into my stomach, I looked up into the blood thirsty red rimmed eyes as his lips came down to my throat, he whispered lips tickling my skin "don't worry Roza, this change is for the better" before plunging his teeth into my skin. I sat up with a start; Lissa's worried face was looking at me as her hand softly shook me awake. I was covered in sweat. I looked at her face and considered the complete irony of the moment- remembering back to the day we were first taken back to the academy I realized Lissa and I had reversed roles, I was no longer the shoulder to cry on, I was the person crying.

It was 5'oclock at night and our day was just beginning, I quickly had a shower and slid on a pair of jeans and a breathable cotton cami, Lissa then came in also with jeans on, boots and a leather jacket.

"What jacket are you going to wear, you'll freeze!" totting her tongue in disapproval she spun for the wardrobe at the hotel we were staying in, the invitation at Roberts underground haven only lasted so long.

"Jeez Liss, im going to hunt down my Strigori lover! Its not a fashion festival!" I added throwing up my hands to add, just a little more affect.

"Yes, but were in Novosibirsk, you know the city? You have to fit it!" she returned with a simple but sexy jacket I took it with a sigh, at least it was easy to move around in. On my way to find Sydney I remembered one more thing I opened a small sliver purse where I took out one of Dimitri's presents while I was being held captive. I hung the precious chain around my neck as the memories once again begun to flood back in.

Sydney, Lissa and I, walked out the front door, I took the room in knowing that this could be the last moment I ever reach this kind of comfort again, turning around and walking ahead I thought- at least if im going to die today ill look hot doing it. I slowly slid the silver stake up the back of my jacket, before striding out the open set of doors to the lively Novosibirsk night life.

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We tried to fit in with the crowds, and when that wasn't possible we tried hiding in the shadows, I figured that this would be useless. I turned around to face a surprisingly silent for once Sydney and a scared stiff Lissa, as soon as she saw me turn though she tried to cover it and I thought bad if I pointed it out.

"There is no uses hiding in the shadows" up ahead I saw an empty car park "follow me". Ok so I wasn't the brightest of people, why would Dimitri be looking for me here, in his own country? It really is beyond stupid. But I had a feeling, I don't know how to put it but I knew he knew we were here, I stepped out into the open car park and I was faced with another dilemma, what should I do with Sydney and Lissa? Praying that he only came by himself, I told the others to wait in the shadows until I called for them… amazingly they listened.

It took a few minutes until I heard voices coming around the corner, loud and drunken voices- definitely not Strigori. Nether the less I tensed myself ready for a fight. They came around the corner, human around 7 men holding bottles of beer, expecting them too walk on past I walked back heading for the wall.

"Hey! Where you going" one man stopped me, and amazingly spoke English

"Wait, yeah we like the look of you" said another man circling to stand on the other side of me. Through the bond I could feel Lissa's warnings, she was practically screaming.

"Don't walk away, you lonely? Ill keep you company" said another man taking a step forward and wrapping his hand around my waist.

As soon as his fingers made contact with my skin I span around, I could hear the deafening crack as my fist connected with his nose.

I looked up expecting the others to be retreating but they still came forward 6 of them making a circle around me.

"Ha-ha, Chris looks like we have a biter here" he said stepping forward and crushed me against his body

"Get off me" I gave him a right hook and a kick in the stomach, he fell before I had balance so I stumbled back. Two more hands grabbed me as some more pulled my hands behind my back, one guy tried to pull down my fly before I gave him a kick in his stomach making him fall backwards. By now the other two men had got back up, I was being overpowered even with a damphir strength that doesn't add up too 6 fully grown men.

Through the bond I saw Lissa was trying to run for me, but Sydney held her back. Thank god. I would never let anybody in this situation, especially Lissa.

I was still trying to fight them off but it was becoming harder and harder, more and more put there hands on me, as one started easing my jeans button undone. Against my will I let out a whimper, and then suddenly I heard a snarl of rage, as the feeling of nausea erupted in my stomach.


	6. Chapter 6 Dimitri

Hi thankyou everyone who has reviewed! even though only 4. I swear i scream each time.

your the only reason i keep writing

sorry this chapter is so short, im writing today though so another chapter will be up by tonight.

**please R&R**

thanks em x

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I knew it was him, I couldn't see him but my body suddenly felt a fraction lighter. The men were looking up now wondering where the noise was coming from.

The first man stepped forward I heard him speaking, "who are you what do you want?"

"GET AWAY FROM HER" another snarl.

The guy named Chris stood up "do you want some? We can share" pulling me up by the hair

Dimitri let out a growl, "SHE'S MINE"

One man was still holding my hands behind my back, he pulled them tighter as he forced me to turn around, I let out a sob before he crushed his lips on mine. It was painful I immediately felt blood as he bit hard onto the bottom of my lip, tears started rolling down my cheeks as I let out a muffled scream. It was only seconds before he was gone, I heard a swift crack and looked down to see his head facing an odd angle from the rest of his body, I forced myself too look away.

The men had finally started to get the message that Dimitri was dangerous, but that didn't stop their attempts. One man tore off my jacket as another reached under my top. I kicked the man in front of me and tried to fight off the man under my shirt.

I saw a hand shoot forward and throw the man back; leaving me face to face with Dimitri, I looked into his eyes and only saw icy darkness before he looked away. The bond was so strong I felt like I was in Lissa's body, NO, I needed to concentrate. Lissa had never seen a Strigori before and a Strigori killing 7 people before your eyes isn't the best way to see one for the first time- well there really isn't ever a time when you would want to see a Strigori, but still, it could be better-and Lissa was begging me to get away. I looked around rubbing my eyes with the back of my jumper.

Dimitri was standing in the middle of the car park bodies strewn around him, his snarls of rage receding as he locked his gaze with mine, for me it seemed like hours to be locked in Dimitri's gaze again, in truth it was only seconds before he made his way over too me.

My breathing was still ragged and Dimitri smiled when he heard it pick up pace, he was standing two meters in front of me now, arms out palms forward in a gesture to relax my fighting stance. I was standing in front of him ready to pounce, one foot back to hold my position, I looked around the floor, when the men had pulled of my jacket my stake was flung away. I looked back to Dimitri who was looking at my body.

I had no jacket and my arms were bare, my cami was torn revealing my stomach, my jeans were unbuttoned and they were falling down my legs, I quickly did them back up before looking back too Dimitri, again only seconds had passed yet it felt like forever, his eyes lingered a few seconds later on where my jeans had re-covered my underwear- skimpy lace, I silently cursed my self for choosing- and then looked back too my eyes.

"Your still as beautiful Roza" he said before taking a quick step forward, the same time I took one backwards.

"what do you want?" as harshly as I could, but at the end note my voice wavered just a fraction. Dimitri looked taken aback.

"I just saved your life and you ask what I want?" a smug smile spreading across his face, I loved it when Dimitri smiled but this was not him. The smile held no warmth just icy humor. I stared at him until he spoke again, he relised he wouldn't get a response.

"well, that's easy… I want you"


	7. Chapter 7 Lust

Thankyou too everyone who has reviewed, it means alot

I thought it was imprtant that we see things from dimitri's point of view on the fight

hope you enjoy it

**plz R&R**

em.

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**DPOV**

I could feel her before I saw her, they were everywhere- all over her. I heard her whimper as he one guy pulled down her pants. This made me angry. SHE WAS MINE, I wanted her! I let out a snarl, some of the filthy humans looked up; the others were too engrossed in my Roza's body. I stepped out of the shadows while one man stepped in my path

"who are you what do you want?" the vile smell of alchahol and vomit intensified as it swirled off his tongue.

"GET AWAY FROM HER" my voice icy and cold, I took satisfaction in his expression as I let out another snarl.

"do you want some? We can share" said another man, she let out a scream as he pulled her up by her hair. I stepped in further and reached for the first mans neck.

"SHE'S MINE" I said just as I jerked his fragile head to the side and heard the answering crack as he fell crumbling too the floor. My body answered with a surge of adrenaline- I was being merciful today, no torture… well at least not him.

Two other men were standing in my direct path now, back turned it only took two seconds for me too grab their unseeing shoulders and smash there backs up against the wall, one crumpled to the ground, blood surging from his skull another bent over giving me the perfect opportunity too smash his face in the ground. I could feel the power pulsing through my veins and each blow felt great- they hurt my roza, now I hurt them.

The two men were screaming out in pain, not that it mattered to me but it did spoil my surprise. The rest of the men looked up except for one who violently forced his lips onto Roza's, I watched as he pressed her against the wall. Hands travelling up her back, she then let out a muffled scream- I had seen enough. I lept forward shouting out in rage, I no longer showed mercy. My hand shot out and cupped itself around his throat, I stepped on his spine as his legs gave out, leaving me with my hands around his neck. I heaved his whole body to the right as I snapped his neck to the left. I walked backwards leaving his body distorted on the ground.

There were now only 3 men left, I dove for the one of the left, pulling him by the hair, I pulled his head up and punched him in the face- over and over again until he fell to the ground, I kicked him in the stomach and watched him for a minute in pure agony, until I reached down and snapped his neck too.

I heard her before I saw her. Her breathing was heavy and there were strange heart wrenching noises coming from her mouth. She was pressed against the wall- fighting desperately against the men who held her there. They were going to do it- she knew it but she didn't give up. She let out a kick and it miraculously hit one of the men in the stomach making him stumble back. Her face was stained with tears and her lips were red and bloodied, they had pulled off her jacket and now the man was tearing apart her top, searching and touching everything that was rightfully mine. I let out a cry of pure anger, they could not be doing this, her body was mine. She belonged to me.

Only seconds had past when I was making this vile observation and the man she had kicked was now still on the ground. I wanted to make his death slow and painful, watch him as he begged for mercy, begged for me to kill him. But I knew Roza wouldn't like this so I just punched him in the nose- hearing the crack I smiled smugly as the pain shot across his features, leaving him for a second I watched before walking over and in turn snapping his neck too.

There was now only one man left and he was all over Roza, his hands were sliding down her body and resting just below her hips. Her pants were at her thighs and his repulsive hands were tugging at the sides of her underwear. I had never been so angry. Not at Nathan for threatening to use her as his blood whore, not at Abe Mazur for following her around, Not at myself for letting her get away and not even at her for not accepting my wishes and willingly turning Strigori- not that it mattered, she would be joining me very soon. The thought made me smile-yes Roza will be joining me soon- as my hand shot out. I grabbed the last man on the shoulder jerking him back into my hands, they swiftly went around his throat and jerked to the side as his body went limp with the crack.

* * *

I was now in the middle off the car park and she was still pressed against the side. She took one step forward and shifted into a defensive crouch before she let her eyes wonder over the floor, I suddenly felt a pang of jealousy- even though some part of me screamed irrational, I just saved her life and the rats on the floors were more interesting than me? She looked up with a sigh and stared straight into my eyes. It was like she could read my mind. I looked at her face and for a second saw only pure courage and determination- she was wearing the face of a guardian. But as I looked further I saw the tiniest falter in her eyes as a look of pain passed through… ah good she still loved me, and that was my biggest allay.

I walked forward so I was about two meters in front of her, I held out my palms in a gesture for her too relax her stance, but she didn't. Again her eyes drifted to the floor- searching for something but I couldn't think what. When she looked back up my eyes were glued to her body.

She had no jacket on and her cami was as good as gone revealing a red satin and lace bra in some parts, my eyes followed down from her chest, too her stomach and then I looked down to her underwear- lacy and skimpy- my heart gave a lurch as lust filled my body. All I wanted to do was replace myself with the men. I could imagine her as I pushed her body up against the wall, pulling down her underwear I bring her thigh to rest at the top of my hip. I'd move inside of her as she whispers my name, I push harder and I can feel her melting into my touch. I look back to her- materializing out of my own fantasies and realize that she has done her jeans back up, my heart sinks a little but the lust that had filled my body stayed powerful and strong.

I look into her eyes "Your still as beautiful Roza" I took a step forwards but to my dismay she took one backwards.

"what do you want?" she said it harshly, but I could detect the hint of fear- her voice wavered a little at the end. I was happy, I liked that she was scared. But I was taken aback with her tone. I did just save her from getting gang raped, she should be a bit more courteous. But that isn't the Roza I love, I love the assertive and beautiful Roza, manners never came joint in that package. A smile spread across my face at this fact, but the question was obvious and the answer flowed freely.

"well, that's easy… I want you"


	8. Chapter 8 The Bond

sorry it took me so long to write this chapter, and that its so short

another chapter should be up tonight.

thanks to everyone who has reviewed and i would definatley love more!!

em x

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**RPOV**

I took a step back, oh god, he was going to kill me. I had staked him, twice! And now he wanted his revenge. I was still in my defensive crouch and I was waiting for him too move. But he didn't he just looked at me with what seemed like mockery and was that… confusion? My heart was beating so loudly it was easy to hear in the abandoned car park, he took a step forward and he smiled when it picked up- I really didn't think that was possible.

He feinted forward when I was momentarily distracted, I mentally kicked myself- damphir Dimitri would not be impressed and I felt my heart lurch, because well now this Strigori in front of me thirsting for my blood was Dimitri, and as much as I tried to get away from the fact… I still loved him.

I took 3 hurried steps backwards, not looking were I was going and tripped over something… a rock? Or a person? I didn't have time to figure out because I was sprawled on my back, which gave Dimitri the perfect opportunity to pin me too the ground, he straddled me, I tried to get up but he pushed me back down pinning my hands to my sides- it wasn't painful but just terribly uncomfortable, there was also something sticking into my back- I instantly felt the urge to remove it but when I moved a bit I felt the grip roll with me and the rounded silver surface edge to the side- it was my stake.

I looked up at him, and as if for the first time he seemed to be noticing something. He released one of my hands and bent down gently to pick up the diamond pendant in the shape of a rose that was hung around my neck, he looked at it intently and a smile spread across, "you kept it" the pendant he was holding was the first gift that Dimitri had given me when he held me captive a few months ago. I escaped but barley, my life was hanging by a small thread of determination, Dimitri would have wanted me to go on. That was also the place where I thought I had killed Dimitri, but staring into the red ringed eyed man in front of me- that obviously wasn't the case.

He was still looking at the pendant until his eyes interlocked with mine, he carefully freed one hand as he reached into the back pocket of his cowboy duster- with my free hand I quickly snagged my stake from my back and stuck it in my jeans back pocket before he reached around and grabbed my hand again- oblivious to the any movements that I just performed.

No, instead his focus was on the most beautiful diamond bracelet I have ever seen, my face was in awe as I studied the piece of jewelry, it was a bracelet of many diamond hearts all joined together- the piece was so amazing no words could describe (Pic on profile). Dimitri looked at my face and a smile spread over it, it wasn't the smile he used to have, this was still cold but his features looked softer and somewhat calmer.

"do you like it" his eyes studying my face, as he slowly reached for my hand. I couldn't talk my mind was spinning, I was still looking at the jewelry but I felt a tug in the bond- OH GOD Lissa I completely forgot I had brought them here, in fact I had trouble even remembering why I was here. All I knew was that I was with Dimitri and he was going to give me the most amazing piece of jewelry, and I loved him, with all my heart and soul, I loved him so much!- but Lissa was still persisting and I let the bond flow through into my mind.

"Rose! Concentrate! He is going to take off your bracelet which means you will be visited with those freaky ghost friends of yours!" oh god she was right I had to stop him.

"No rose let him, listen to me remember why you are here! This is important rose. When he takes off the bracelet I want you too let the spirits arrive. They will distract Dimitri as you get your stake and stab him in the chest, but not his heart! Then ill do the rest" god she must have thought this through a lot "yes, I have actually" Lissa always the practical one…. Wait, did Lissa just answer my thoughts? The bond was going two ways! I could feel Lissa drawing the same conclusion as excitement shot through the bond but I didn't have time to be happy, Dimitri's life rested on this exact moment.


	9. Chapter 9 Nikolai

Hi, so sorry its taken me so long to upload and that this chapter is so short.

please R&R

thanks em.

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His hands were on mine as he reached up to touch the bracelet. I looked into his eyes as his fingers lightly brushed the outside of the band, my life was moving in slow motion as his fingers gently eased the band over my wrist…my thumb… and ever so slowly over the end of my fingers, and then my world erupted.

They were everywhere, more than I have ever seen before.. hundreds, no, thousands. They came out from no where, pale washed out features staring straight into my eyes, circling around me. The pain in my head felt like I had just been shot, it got worse and worse as more ghosts arrived. I had never gotten used to seeing ghosts and by the look on Dimitri's he hadn't really warmed up to them since his last encounter. His eyes were wide as he fell back from his position on my hips, he dropped the beautiful piece of jewelry that he had nearly given me and it fell to the floor, shattering and dispersing itself across the entire open space. But I didn't have time to worry about my that..

In a matter of seconds I was up, I grabbed my stake and ran over to his confused body, desperately trying to ignore the faces that loomed around me. He wasn't looking at me so I took the advantage to aim a kick in his stomach. It worked and left him sprawled on his back, within 2 seconds of recovery he tried to get back up, but I was faster… for once.

I was standing over him, stake at the ready. I looked into his eyes and his stared back. I had always been the only one that had ever really understood Dimitri, it was part of the reason he said he loved me. Looking back now I completely understood what was going through his head, though he may be Strigori Dimitri was in there somewhere, I just knew it. His eyes were locked on mine and his emotions nearly broke my heart, he thought this was the end, and he was frantic. None of his past Strigori cockiness was present, no, instead his face delivered all of his emotions. He was scared, horrified even, angry and worried. I bent down and his face turned pleading, "please Roza, please I still love you". I gave him one last tortured glance before plunging my stake deep down into his chest.


	10. Chapter 10 The spirit world

_Im sorry again its taken me ages to update.. but i'm loosing intrest in the whole story._

_this might be one of my last chapters._

_em. x _

_but keep reviewing! its the only reason im still actually writing!_

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_My strength was there- sliding the stake past the ribs and straight into his heart. And as I did it was like piercing my heart at the same time. _

My final thought, well my final memory shocked me back to reality. Again my body reacted without my mind, which was too busy re-living the scene in Galina's beautiful prison, I could almost believe that I was back there, fighting for my life, for my soul. No, I had to focus. I wasn't back there; I wasn't fighting for my soul, this time I was fighting for Dimitri's. I looked down at the face of a god, Dimitri, my beautiful Dimitri lay limp in my arms; he looked- lifeless, and it tore at my heart to see him like this but he wasn't, well not yet.

I stood up with shaking legs, my body felt heavy, all I wanted to do was fold myself in Dimitri's arms and sleep. But Lissa's annoying face bopping into my view every few seconds was really starting to shatter those hopes.

"Rose? Rose? ROSE" she was trying desperately to get my attention as I stared straight through her, she was tugging at my arm and then started slapping my tear stained cheek, very repetitively. I heard a strange noise, like a whimper and I had long realized it was me before it stopped.

"Rose? Rose baby speak to me" I was still staring out into the open space, still lost in my thoughts. But somehow I managed to take in everything around me at the same time. Lissa was still obviously trying to get my sanity back still, grasping at any straw she could find in mind, searching through what I was feeling and sending me messages- but I blocked them out. Sydney was on the phone, calling somebody probably one of her contacts… they would have a heck of a job covering up the men's deaths, some part of me felt bad for them, Nobody deserved this, even low life's like them. But at the time I didn't really think about it.

I took a deep breath and brought Lissa's frantic face back into my view. "Llliss?" great I now have a stutter.

"oh my god, oh thank god, its okay rose im here baby, breath, your okay" But it wasn't true I was definatley not okay, Dimitri the love of my life was still Strigori, I had to go and enter the spirit world and probably not make it back, I just nearly got gang raped by seven drunk men- who were now dead.. and I had the worst fucking headache because my shadow kissed abilities were allowing the undead to float around me at this present time. No, I was not okay. Okay rose, stop, take a deep breath. You can do this. I felt my resolve settle as I spoke her name.

"Liss, Dimitri needs you" she looked at me in confusion, apparently she was not the only one who forgot why she was here. _Heal Dimitri_. This new bond thing really had its perks. She seemed to Understand then and she let go off me, going over to Dimitri, she lifted his hand. Gasping at the coldness of it, I watched her as I felt her confidence build up, she summoned all the happiness in side of her, memories, special moments and dreams and transferred them one at a time into Dimitri's body.

I knew I only had minutes nom, Robert had said ten but at the rate Dimitri was healing I knew it would be less.

I started to panick, I couldn't think straight and the splitting headache wasn't helping with that. As much as I had tried to put up the walls inside my brain, the ghosts still loomed around me, surviving on my scattered emotions. I looked around… hole, I needed the hole, the gateway the ghosts had showed me, I needed the gateway too the spirit world. I was staring at the ghosts- as much as it freaked me out- looking at each face, I needed help! Suddenly a Phantom came into view, and I though my heart stopped beating, it was a face I remembered very well, I couldn't forget.

"Nikolai!" my words a mixture of shock and sadness. He tried to talk but no words came out. I had met Nikolai in Baia when I was being shown around by Viktoria- Dimitri's sister. Back then it was easy to read Nikolai's eyes, his emotions were writing all over his face. Nikolai was in love with Vikki well more or less possessed by her, he would literally praise the land she walked on. He reminded me so much of Mason- who adored me and did and would do anything for me. But I was indifferent to his affection as was Viktoria with Nikolai- Now they were both dead and I couldn't help but notice how it tore another piece of my soul.

All of a sudden I felt angry, I was furious at myself as the spirits shadows closed in. Another, another person Rosemarie Hathaway has hurt in her miserable life, Who am i? I didn't want to keep hurting people, people I meet say im selfless but I leave destruction wherever I walk. I'm Soulless- I might as well be Strigori. I thought back to a moment in Baia, when I was with Dimitri's family. It was the night of the memorial service and I had asked myself if it was worth it, were all the memories with Dimitri worth the pain that I was feeling right now? But like in Baia I had the answer before I even finished questioning myself- of course they were.

I stood up, turning to face Nikolai's luminous figure. "Nikolai, I need your help".

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just press the button.. you know you want too!


	11. Chapter 11 Memories

good news i will be continuing the story, because i have picked out all of lissa's and rose's future clothing, so the show must go on!

I hope you like this chapter, dont be too sad about Nikolai, he died in for the woman he loved. im very sorry if i offended anyone but it was a sacrafice i needed!

please tell me what you think!

em. xxxx

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The spirit world was not what I expected. I expected- well I never really expected much. I was too busy to imagine what it would be like, but this was still a surprise.

The spirit world was literally the same world as ours, you could see everything, hear everything but people could not see you. Right now I was standing above my body, which was laying limp at my feet. My heartbeat was steady, my eyes were closed, I looked, well…. Dead. Which scared me so much because well technically I was.

Flashback.

He looked at me strangely, confused. I think he was still coming to terms with me being able to see him. I motioned behind him. "I need to get in there, where you are" his look showed me that even ghosts apparently though I was crazy. "Nikolai! I need you to take me with you back to the spirit world!" he gave me that rose is crazy look again but he also showed that he was deep in thought, Nikolai…hurry up. He seemed to understand then, I was half expecting a light globe to stick above his head like in the cartoons. He pointed at Dimitri then at me and then at the passageway that just… appeared… I had definitely not noticed that before, so much for damphir senses. I nodded half jumping, he then motioned like he was breaking a stick, it was my turn to question. "what the hell are you on about Nikolai, I have no time to play charades" I saw a ghost of a smile appear on his impassive face as he mouthed the word Disconnect.

That's what Robert had said, Disconnect. His instructions were- forget everything, all that is around you is not anymore, only think of where you want to be and you will be. You see spirits, spirits disconnect from their bodies to come to you, you do the same to them, disconnect. That was when I was a hundred percent positive that victor was telling the truth about his brother, it made no sense to me at the time, but now.. now I had this feeling, like somebody was pulling me upwards, almost like invisible hands. I did what victor told me and I forgot about everything else all I wanted was to be in the spirit world.

I remember when mark had said that it was dangerous to allow ghosts in because the shadow-kissed already walk a thin line between death and life- it wasn't until now did I realize how thin that line must be.

While performing Roberts instructions I a eerie feeling of comfort melted over me, it felt like falling into a blissful sleep, or the daze after having vampire endorphins. As I basked in the beauty of it, I felt myself breaking away, breaking away from the pain- letting everything go and floating on a cloud. I opened my eyes and looked up as Nikolai gave me his hand, ripping away from my body and walking with Nikolai to the tube of darkness. I took a deep breath, this is it. I may never make it back. Besides me the faces of ghosts loomed- urging me forward. I closed my eyes and took a step forward, immersing myself in the icy depths of darkness.

End of flashback

The surprise of the world of the dead only lasted a few seconds before I turned to Nikolai face stained with tears. I brought him into a hug as more tears brimmed and spilled over. "Nikolai, what happened why are you here?" I was surprised he could hear me as I stumbled over my sobs.

"Rose, shh don't cry im okay, its okay"

"No, no your not fine, otherwise you wouldn't be here, what happened?" I gave him my best 'don't mess with me look', it seemed to work. He launched into his story as he dried my face with the end of his shirt.

"There was a Strigori attack at school, about 40 Strigori broke in after a human staked the wards. We have very little guardians in Baia so the novices stepped up, using fire is un-heard of in Russia so far and our fighting skills may be good but they don't match that of someone like you" my breathing had picked up, this couldn't be happening. Guilt surged through me- why didn't I stay? I could have protected them. I could have helped… but it was too late. "So we fell back and retreated to the gym where all the other students were waiting, the teachers having heavily warded the building. On top of that we had guardians and novices at every window and door… but it wasn't enough. The Strigori broke in all at the same time, overpowering us and catching us by surprise. Their target was the group of female moroi and damphirs huddled in the middle who had never trained to fight. The guardians were strong but the Strigori were stronger, they broke through the barrier and lept for the girls, some Strigori snapped their necks right there but most picked them up and casually stole out of the building, slaughtering anybody in their path. I was fighting, but stopped when I saw a Strigori reach for Viktoria, the world stopped" Viktoria, Dimitri's sister. Oh no. please, oh god. "Nikolai, you saved her right? She isn't here, she cant be here". My last words were to myself but the first he answered with the rest of the story, he started up again while trying to pry my tight clasp off his arm. "The Strigori lifted her up- but she put up one hell of a fight, she kicked and punched with all her strength but it wasn't enough. I lunged at him and managed to force his hands open, releasing Vikki, I told her to run but she stopped and stared, she finally listened to me just as the Strigori got a good hold around my neck, I tried rose I really tried to get out of his grip, but it was like iron…" He stopped the story there, we both new he ending. His eyes had glazed over as he was remembering the memory, by the end my arms were around him as I sobbed into his chest. "You saved her; you saved Vikki, Dimitri's sister.. My sister! She could be dead, thank you Nikolai. Thank you".

We stood like that for a few seconds, my arms wrapped around him. Until he pulled back, his hands holding my shoulders. I looked down at my feet, down to my body laying lifeless on the ground and took a deep breath. "Nikolai, I know I have already asked so much of you and I really shouldn't be asking any more but.. I need your help-" before I could finish Nikolai had my hand in his and was leading me away with a knowing glint in his eyes. I was going to ask him where he was taking me, but something about him made me catch my tongue, I was pretty sure he knew what he was doing.

After a couple of minutes though I began to highly doubt that and became more and more restless, I didn't have much time… Nikolai seemed to notice something was up because he came to a standstill and looked into my eyes. "Rose, you have to trust me I know what I'm doing" I stared at him for a few seconds before I answered "I do trust you, but I don't have much time, nikolai he could wake up any second!" He gave me that really annoying _do what your told _stare as he lifted up one of his eyebrows to add to the comment- which just annoyed me more seeing as I still have not mastered it- and started to pull me forward again as I shut my mouth, blocking off whatever smart ass comment I was about to say.

He kept leading me and my eyes followed my surroundings, I don't know how but the streets of Russia had already materialized away from us, I had no idea when that happened one moment we were walking the fiery nightlife of Novosibirsk and a second later we were walking down a long road…this road felt so, so familiar I tried to remember how we got here or most importantly where we are but I just couldn't quite figure it out, my mind felt like I was reaching for something and I was so close, only centimeters away but I couldn't quite reach…

"Rose, rose? were here" I looked up to Nikolai slowly shaking my arm. I hadn't asked him where we were or what we were doing, I had just trusted him like he had asked. I looked up in astonishment only to come face to face with….me? I was 12 years old and had finally begun training to fight, it was my first day in a one on one battle, my opponent- Stan. I was nervous, extremely so but I didn't let that show, even as a 12 yr old I had my usual rose charm. My class mates were cheering me on, shouting my name and boo-ing Stan. I stepped back getting into the offensive position while stan took the defensive, in the distance I could hear someone say that we start on the count of three, 1…2, I lept up using my two seconds of surprise to lay a right hook just at the tip of his chin, he stumbled backwards but quickly retained his composure, he went for my arm twisting it to the side, it hurt, a lot but I managed to deflect most of the impact by a kick to his stomach, he doubled over and I didn't waste the chance. I thrust my knee into the back of his thigh making his legs buckle, spinning my arm around I pulled him by his shirt bringing both of us to the floor, he tackled me pinning me to the ground, but I was faster. I managed to pry my leg free from his grasp, quickly so he wasn't expecting it I lent up and slammed my leg into his groin, he cried out in pain but I wasn't finished. I rolled him over pressing him up against the mat. Once I got a good hold on both his hands I freed one of mine bringing it in a fist shape and punching him right above the heart. My smile grew as I pretended to twist the 'stake' and push it in harder to his body. Stan was looking at me with emotions written all over his face, anger, hurt, jealousy and pride were visible in his eyes.. but his mouth was plastered with a smirk. I lent down putting my lips next to his ear "I win" I put my hands on his chest and slammed him once more back into the floor then walked out of the gym, it was the middle of class but nobody cared I mean it was rose. As I watched myself take that final step out the door the gym disappeared.

I looked to Nikolai, "what was that?" my voice was shaking a little, he didn't answer and I was about to ask again when new voices interrupted me. They were loud and very familiar, it was Lissa and me…Well almost everyone I knew from my school life was there but i was used to that. We were sitting in a circle drunk out of our minds with few other friends, Jesse and this girl called Megan, while everybody else crowed around listening, we were playing truth or dare…rose style. "Woo I got a good one!" it was Jesse he was laughing hysterically and we had all joined in even though we didn't know the reason. "ah…Kay okay okay, ROSE I dare you too run through the school in your thong and lap dance with the first guardian you..*hic* see" we burst into another round of hysterics, lissa was off her face and was crying fighting to breath, "your on Zeklos". The Memory restarted when I was on the run, the whole crowd was following me, there was no way in hell that they would miss this. We had just reached past the main administration building when a voice cut through our high. "Hathaway, what the hell?" too my delight it was Stan, "Stan, my man!" it was silent except for Lissa's and Jesse's and my drunken laughter. "I demand to know what's going on here!" he took a step forward and that was all that I needed, I snaked out my arm and wrapped it around his waist, "wait and you'll find out" I said with my biggest man eating smile, I untangled my arm from around his waist and brought them both up to wrap around his neck. Slowly I moved them downwards. He seemed frozen, conflict writing all over his face, as I reached his chest I started to rub myself against his legs, my hands kept travelling down until they reached the top of his slacks, I widened my hands so they continued to travel down, I slowly bent down as my palms traveled lower. Once I reached below his knees I changed positions, I swung around so I was pressed against his side. I heard Lissa try to stifle a Laugh when Stan's expression turned from shocked to horrified when I started using him to pole dance. It lasted for about 5 minutes as I watched in pure agony, _why was I so stupid? No wonder people called me a slut._ I was watching caught up in the moment this was horrible. It lasted a few more seconds before I was back. I looked back to nikolai who seemed slightly amused by It all. "Nikolai? Where are we?" I gave him my best puppy dog eyes, I did not want to get caught back up in one of those memories again. "You know that saying? The one in movie's when people say there life flashed before their eyes; well technically it does…just after you're already dead. This here is your chamber as we like to call it. Its where you re-live all those moments in your life. The ones that make you happy, the ones that make you sad, the ones you regret and the ones you don't". It was a lot to take in, but I didn't want a re-run I had no time to think of all the things that I have done, I needed Dimitri! "this is all very interesting nikolai but how does this help me find Dimitri's soul?" he looked at me as if it was the most obvious question. "its in your heart".

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you know you want to press it! please with cherries and whipped cream?


	12. Chapter 12 Stan?

**sorry it took so longto update, im having a bit of a writers block. I go back to school tommorow so i will try and write as much as i can before then.**

**thankyou for all the reviewers, it means so much to me and your the only reason i keep writing.**

**also if anybody has any ideas or anything they want me to add into the story, would be mutchly appreciated :)**

**dont forget to tell me what you think.**

**emxxxxx**

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What? The heart? Once again I was the victim of a Robert Doru speech. If I recall correctly Robert said something about having to travel deep into the heart to battle against inner feelings… well I thought he meant like look down deep into yourself, he didn't actually mean travel to the heart, did he? I mean that would be impossible right? No not impossible absolutely f***ing screwed! What the heck was with this crazy place? At the moment I was in my chamber- it sounds like an old fairy tale. You know the ones where the prince saves the beautiful damsel in distress.. something about long hair and witches, but that didn't really fit with the story of my life, im more of a knight in shining armor- a chamber that replays all the memories in my life. I wasn't expecting much when I traveled to the spirit world but I definitely did not expect anything like this. Sorry but a chamber? What the fuck!

"Nikolai, even though it seems very obvious for you, some people do not share your intellectual abilities, care to explain?" finally im able to regain a little of my famous Rose Hathaway bravado, I was starting to miss myself.

"okay rose this is where it gets a little difficult" ha no shit! "I guess I didn't explain myself correctly in the first place. This 'chamber' isn't where you will find Dimitri's soul, it's a little bit of a obstacle that you will have to cross. You see when you die you soul is led to your chamber. The chamber literally plays with your mind and most importantly you emotions. At the moment we are in Stan's section these are all the memories that he has had with you. At that very moment nikolai disappeared, everything disappeared and was replaced by classroom walls. Oh shit not another one?

"Ah its rose, its such a delight to great us with your presence rose we were beginning to miss you. Care to explain why your 53 minutes late to class?" there were a few snickers from my classmates, others were on the edge of their seats waiting for the fight they new would come, I even saw Jesse flick out his camera phone. I hated Stan I really did; he was really never nice to me. And always getting on my nerves, he really brought everything he got from me on himself, he provoked Rose Hathaway and everybody knows not to provoke rose Hathaway unless the want to end up with a broken nose, Stan learnt the broken nose part pretty quickly in my classes with him. But this time as it was Stan's memory I was seeing it through his eyes and feeling his emotions, it wasn't like last time, the last memory of Stan and I was as if it was from an onlooker to the situation. But now I could feel everything that Stan was feeling and see me from his eyes. He thought I was….beautiful? He was waiting in anticipation, to see what reply I would serve him but he didn't get it. I couldn't figure it out, this is alto, you know the guy that hates me just as much as I hate him. But it wasn't like that, no, it was never like that. Stan loved me. He always loved me, from the beginning. And I loved him, I was sure that I loved him, I was only a bitch to him to hide my true feelings. I loved Stan with all my heart, I wanted him, I needed him. A silent tear fell down my cheek, _oh Stan I miss you. _WHAT THE! Oh no, this is wrong, No No NO! This wrong I love Dimitri, im here for Dimitri. My head was screaming to me that this was wrong but my heart was aching for Stan. I wanted him with every Fiber of my being, I needed him! NO, Dimitri, im coming. I started screaming I needed to get out, this was wrong, he couldn't love me. "NIKOLAI! NIKOLAI HELP ME!" I was so confused and-

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It took me a moment to realize I was back, sweat was pouring down my face and I was shaking. Nikolai was holding me as I cried into his shoulder, why, why me? And why Stan of all people!

Nikolai was stroking my head and was frantically trying to get my attention, "rose, rose I need you to listen to me. You will be sucked into many peoples memories, Your emotions will be so strong and you will feel mixed up. With people that you truly hate you will feel undying affection for and people you forever love you will feel the worst hatred possible. You must focus rose, you must pull through. Remember who you are, remember what and who you love and belive in because in seconds that may be taken away from you. Rose if you do not fight off these feeling you will never be the same again, if you do not remember who you love and hate those feelings will stay mixed together and you will never get dimitri's soul back, you may never make it back again. But I know you Rose your one of the most strong willed people I know, I believe in you".

I was worried, no not worried, flat out panic attack. What if I hate Dimitri and forget my true feelings for him? They may never come back, I may never love Dimitri again. I wasn't ready no way was I ready but my 'chamber' didn't seem to regrester that as it sucked me into a whole new time and place, a figure stood before me and it took me a moment to recognize the features _oh good Lissa_ before hatred tinged my vision with red.

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**the more reviews the quicker i update, so please with chocolate topping press the green button.**


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